Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.Stockton Family Law Attorney | Divorce | Child Support | Custody2024-02-22T17:20:05Zhttps://www.btmlaw.com/feed/atom/WordPressOn Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503592024-02-22T17:20:05Z2024-02-22T17:20:05Z1. Managing financial matters
In California, divorce entails the division of debts and marital assets, such as homes, cars and bank accounts. While the court aims for fairness, it is not always an equal split. Courts consider factors like income, contributions to the marriage and future financial needs.
Divorce can strain finances, particularly regarding money division and support for both you and your children. Crafting a budget and financial plan can help you stay afloat during and after the divorce. Seeking advice from a financial professional can offer valuable assistance.
2. Handling social adjustments
Divorce may strain relationships, leaving you feeling isolated or misunderstood. Staying connected with loved ones and openly discussing your experiences can provide much-needed support and alleviate loneliness. Joining groups or clubs for individuals in similar circumstances can also offer comfort.
3. Adapting to new living arrangements
Post-divorce, whether you relocate or remain in the same home, adjusting to change can be challenging. Moving may entail missing your former neighborhood and friends, while staying put may leave your home feeling empty without your ex-spouse. Regardless, it is a significant adjustment.
If you move, familiarizing yourself with your new neighborhood and engaging in community activities can aid in adaptation. If you stay, consider redecorating or rearranging furniture to create a fresh environment.
4. Coping with emotional turmoil
Divorce triggers a whirlwind of emotions, including sadness, anger and uncertainty about the future. These feelings are normal. Seeking support from friends, family or a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and gain clarity.
Take charge
Understanding the challenges divorce presents allows you to tackle them more effectively and emerge stronger.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503582023-10-23T19:19:19Z2023-10-23T19:19:19ZLegal standards for custody
California, like many other states, follows a legal standard that prioritizes the best interests of the child when determining custody arrangements. The courts do not favor one parent over the other based solely on their gender. Instead, they assess various factors to make a fair and informed decision. While 21% of children lived with their mother only in 2020, the number of children living with their father only has quadrupled to 4.5% in the past 50 years.
The best interests of the child
To decide what is in the best interests of the child, courts consider factors such as the child's age, health, and emotional ties to both parents. They also examine each parent's ability to provide a stable home, support the child's needs and encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent.
Parenting plans
The courts encourage parents to work together to create a parenting plan that outlines custody and visitation schedules. This collaborative approach allows parents to have more control over the outcome and find solutions that fit their unique circumstances. In cases where parents cannot agree on a parenting plan, mediation may be necessary. A neutral third party can assist in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement. If mediation is unsuccessful, the court will step in to make the final decision.
By working together and considering the child's best interests, parents can navigate the challenging terrain of divorce and custody arrangements.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503472023-07-14T20:24:38Z2023-07-14T20:24:38Z1. What causes it?
The most common reasons for divorce are infidelity, financial issues, communication issues and a lack of intimacy. Some other issues that you might encounter are incompatibility, immaturity and abuse.
2. Why do people divorce?
The causes of divorce are usually a spark. Divorce comes when you can no longer cope with your partner and it is the best option.
3. Is infidelity a reason?
If your partner tries to meet their needs outside of your relationship, it can end it. That is because it leaves you feeling betrayed and causes you to not trust them. Infidelity is the most common reason for divorce. It causes between 20 and 40 percent of divorces each year.
4. Is intimacy important?
Not feeling a connection to your partner can leave you feeling like you have a roommate. This connection stems from physical and emotional intimacy. Constantly pushing your partner away can cause your relationship to fizzle out and drive them to file for divorce.
Marriage is not easy. A lot of them end up in divorce. Even when you have great intentions, you can still end up in a failing relationship. That is why you should address issues when they come up, so you can still repair your relationship. However, if your marriage is too far gone, make sure you know the answers to all of your questions about divorce, so you can get through the process easier.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503462023-04-17T19:17:54Z2023-04-17T19:17:54ZWork it out in mediation
If you and your spouse are both willing, you may be able to come to an agreement with the help of an impartial mediator.
Mediation can help divorcing couples work through complex issues, such as property division and child custody, without having to go to court. The mediator's role is not to make decisions for you but rather to guide the conversation so that you and your spouse can reach an agreement.
Agree to share ownership
Co-ownership is common in the horse world. If you and your spouse get along well enough to communicate regularly and share responsibilities, it may be possible for you to remain co-owners of your animals.
Let a judge decide
Generally, a judge will treat your horses like any other marital property, but there are some unique factors to take into account. These include the monetary value of the horses, your ability to care for them and the division of day-to-day care responsibilities. If the horses are part of a business, such as a riding school, this will influence the decision.
Dividing marital property during a divorce can be a difficult and highly emotional process. Mediation can help you and your spouse make the right decision for your animals and your circumstances, but if you are at an impasse, the court must make the decision for you.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=502342023-03-01T18:49:47Z2023-03-01T18:49:47Zchildren cope with divorce. These are four tips to help.
1. Avoid speaking negatively about your co-parent
Whether you love your ex-spouse or not, your children do. Therefore, avoid saying anything negative about your counterpart. You can make your children feel guilty or as if they will betray you if they love their other parent. You never want to make them feel like they have to take sides.
2. Pursue open communication
Your children need your honesty. Therefore, when they ask questions, tell them the truth. You do not have to go into detail, but you should explain the situation in a way that they can understand. Simplify what is going on, but reassure them that you love them. Plan your conversations as much as possible to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
3. Work with your former spouse
You may find it difficult to work closely with your former spouse, but this is necessary. Your children need to see you getting along and working together. Do not fight in front of your children and do not use them as messengers. Instead, do everything you can to appear supportive and collaborative and discuss issues when they are not present.
4. Build routines
Children need structure, so build solid routines and do what you can to keep them in place. Maintain your house rules. Reinforce their chores and other responsibilities, and keep visitations consistent.
Remember to take care of yourself during this stressful time. Exercise and eat healthy, spend time with friends, journal and take time for yourself.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=501562022-10-25T15:25:09Z2022-10-25T15:25:09ZWhen can you request a change to a custody order?
There is no strict timeframe regarding when you can or cannot request a modification to your California custody order, rather you must simply file the appropriate forms. If you discuss the potential change with your co-parent and come to an agreement, you can negotiate a new parenting plan together and submit it to the court. Should your ex-spouse disagree with your proposal, you can petition the court if there has been a significant change in circumstances that warrants a modification.
What circumstances are grounds for a custody order modification?
If you want more time with your child, a significant increase in your income is often valid grounds for proving that you are capable of providing quality care. Alternatively, professional circumstances or military deployment might entail a large-scale relocation, giving you a valid case for suggesting that your co-parent might take on more parenting time.
The court does not take the modification of a child custody order lightly. While you are free to request a change at any time, the reasons for doing so must be significant.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=500412022-07-13T06:05:59Z2022-07-13T13:24:12Zmutual understanding that the relationship is over and want as little stress as possible. This is a collaborative divorce; if you handle the situation correctly, you can avoid court altogether.
According to World Population Review, California has a relatively low divorce rate of nine percent. However, there are still thousands of divorces yearly, with over 700,000 residents in the greater Stockton area. If you want your divorce to be as stress-free as possible, see below for some mistakes to avoid during the process.
Compromise for the bigger picture
The most important part of an amicable divorce is compromising. If you are unwilling to compromise on your priorities, you might as well go to court and have a judge settle your marriage. Compromising is easier said than done. Keep the big picture in mind and prepare to suffer some losses.
Do not spend your assets
A big misunderstanding people have during divorce is how marital property works. If you spend all your cash and sell your assets, your spouse still has an entitlement to half of what you owned during the marriage. Trying to hide or spend marital property only causes more pain because you will have to pay your spouse back anyways.
There is much more to collaborative divorce than this article can cover. Keep communication open and listen to your spouse’s concerns. Divorce is always tricky, but with patience and open-mindedness, you can significantly reduce the stress by avoiding court and handling the divorce on your terms.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=500382022-07-13T06:06:13Z2022-06-29T01:04:45Zdivorced or annulled their marriages, and many of these couples experienced similar struggles. The following tips can help you work through divorce-related issues and communicate effectively with your ex.
1. Set communication boundaries
Determine exactly when and how you will speak to your former spouse. For example, if you want to limit contact, hold a meeting with your former spouse once a week over the phone or in person.
2. Watch your tone
During the divorce process, you may feel upset, frustrated and angry, and it is easy to let these emotions take over when speaking with your ex. Keep your tone of voice civil when speaking to your former spouse and avoid shouting, sarcasm and insults.
3. Focus on the issues at hand
If you and your spouse diverge into other issues, it can be harder to avoid heated discussions. Focus your efforts on the issues at hand and refocus the conversation if things get off track.
During your divorce, it can be difficult to focus on effective communication. But making a concentrated, ongoing effort can help you effectively negotiate and come to an agreement on issues relating to your divorce faster.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=499942022-07-13T06:06:21Z2022-02-23T15:41:36ZAbout mediation
If you choose this divorce option, you and your spouse will meet with a mediator, a neutral third party, who will help you work toward a divorce settlement agreement that is mutually satisfactory. The mediator will not take sides but will keep the discussions on track and offer possible resolutions for you to consider when sticking points arise. As opposed to the litigation process in which a judge makes decisions that will affect your future and the future of your child, you and your spouse have control over the outcome of your divorce. Mediation is also a faster, less expensive option.
Effects on children
Because it is often a contentious process, litigation is stressful for children. The anger and bitterness between their parents may cause children to experience depression and anxiety. The quality of their schoolwork may also decline.
Benefits to consider
As a less stressful alternative to litigation, mediation is capable of reducing the negative emotional effects of divorce for both you and your child. In this process, the focus is on communication. Once you and your soon-to-be-ex become accustomed to speaking openly and expressing your thoughts, the ability to communicate and work out issues will help you build the foundation for new family relationships. Since your child will not suffer the effects of a high-conflict divorce in court, the post-divorce adjustment period will be easier to manage.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=499802022-07-13T06:06:32Z2021-10-18T18:28:46Zmodifying child custody in California.
When parents agree
If parents reach an agreement about custody modification, they can submit their new parenting plan to the court for approval. Both parents must complete and sign the Stipulation and Order for Custody and/or Visitation of Children. The court facilitator will make sure this form is correct before it goes to the judge for approval. If the judge signs off, the new plan becomes legally binding.
When parents do not agree
A parent must petition the court for custody modification if the other parent does not agree with the proposed changes. In this case, he or she must show that circumstances have changed since the court issued the initial custody order. The proposed change must serve the child's best interest and create or maintain a secure, stable home environment. In some cases, the court may require mediation before scheduling a modification hearing.
The parent requesting the modification must include the reason for the changes in the filed petition along with a new parenting plan proposal. The parent who does not want custody to change can present evidence indicating that a new custody schedule would not serve the child's best interest.
Some of the factors that the court will review in determining the child's best interest include his or her adjustment to school, relationships with other family members, and his or her preference depending on age.]]>