Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.Stockton Family Law Attorney | Divorce | Child Support | Custody2026-05-18T05:59:07Zhttps://www.btmlaw.com/feed/atom/WordPressOn Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[Red flags when hiring a divorce attorney in California]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=504212026-02-23T09:32:23Z2026-02-23T09:32:23ZHiring the right divorce attorney can influence your finances, property rights and parenting time. In California, the wrong choice may create delays, higher costs and weaker court outcomes.
They promise a guaranteed outcome
No attorney can guarantee custody, support or property division results. California judges have broad discretion and outcomes depend on the facts and statutory guidelines.You should also be cautious if an attorney proposes a percentage-based fee. Under Rule 1.5(c), the State Bar of California prohibits contingency fees tied to securing a divorce or the amount of support obtained. An ethical attorney will discuss realistic outcomes and potential risks instead of promising a specific result.
They do not focus on family law
California is a community property state. That usually means marital property is divided equally. Custody decisions focus on the child’s best interests.Family law has detailed rules. Court procedures can vary by county. A lawyer who rarely handles divorce cases may miss deadlines or key steps.Ask how much of their work is dedicated to California family law.
They push every issue into court
Courts expect both sides to try to work things out before asking a judge to step in. Judges can penalize parties who refuse to cooperate.Some cases need court hearings. Others can settle through negotiation or mediation. A lawyer who turns every disagreement into a fight may increase your legal bills and stress.Long court battles can also affect how a judge views your willingness to cooperate.
They are not clear about fees
Most divorce attorneys in California charge by the hour and require a retainer. You should understand exactly how you will be billed. Watch for:
Vague agreements: No clear written explanation of rates or retainers.
Improper fee offers: Charging a percentage of what you win.
Hidden costs: Extra expenses not explained in advance.
Clear billing helps you avoid surprises.
Consider consulting a qualified divorce attorney
Divorce can reshape your financial stability, parental rights and long-term obligations. Early legal guidance may help you avoid preventable errors and unrealistic expectations.If you are considering divorce, you should consult a qualified California family law attorney to discuss your specific circumstances. ]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[5 social media mistakes that could cost you custody]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=504202026-02-06T15:03:08Z2026-02-06T15:03:08ZPosting incriminating photographs or videos
Sharing media of you consuming copious amounts of alcohol, surrounded by drug paraphernalia or being in dangerous environments can be risky. If there are patterns of this behavior, courts might use your posts as evidence against you. This is doubly true if your child is present in these photographs and videos.
Using location check-ins unwisely
Posts on social media might show your whereabouts. This can be a problem if you unwittingly reveal location check–ins that contradict your parenting schedule. Courts may also use this as evidence against you during custody cases, especially if it shows you out late or being away from home when you should be with your child.
Making harsh comments about the custody case
While many people use social media to air out grievances, it can be dangerous to make rude or sarcastic remarks about the case, court orders or judges publicly – especially if they reveal noncompliance with custody orders. California courts may view this as an indicator of poor judgment and a lack of respect for the process.
Making hostile or sarcastic posts about the other parent
Writing angry, sarcastic or otherwise hostile posts or comments about the other parent might suggest an unwillingness to co-parent. In California, courts may use these posts as evidence against you, potentially costing you primary custody or changes in the parenting plan.
Sharing posts that reveal new partners with roles in your child’s life
Though it is common for parents to pursue new romantic partners after a divorce, it has the potential to be harmful for a child’s development if it happens too quickly. It might also affect your case if your new partner has a criminal, drug or abuse history. Courts typically examine these situations on a case-by-case basis, determining whether or not introducing a new partner becoming a major part of the child’s life can raise stability concerns.
How to use social media responsibly during a custody case
During custody cases, courts closely examine your conduct around your child, as well as how effective you are at encouraging stability and growth. They accomplish this by monitoring your child’s health, safety and welfare. Your social media posts can give people deeper insight into the life you live and your attitudes towards parenting. This can determine whether or not judges deem you fit as a parent.
To use social media responsibly, assume that every post, photo or comment can appear against the judge, who may use it as evidence against you. Try to avoid sharing details about your child, your schedule or the other parent and refrain from making posts that might give the court the wrong impression.
Sharing custody over your child can be stressful, but it is important to mind your conduct. In custody cases, what you do online can matter just as much as what you do offline. One of the best ways to maintain custody is to commit to your child and prioritize their health, growth and safety.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[What are the common myths about divorce that you should ignore?]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503752025-07-07T15:37:39Z2025-07-07T15:37:39ZDivorce often carries misconceptions that can cause unnecessary stress and confusion. Many people believe myths that impact their decisions and expectations during the process. It's important to separate fact from fiction to stay fully informed.
Divorce means you’ll lose everything
One of the biggest myths about divorce is that you’ll automatically lose your home, financial security, and personal belongings. Property division happens during the divorce process, but various factors, including state laws and the circumstances of your marriage, determine the distribution of assets. It’s not a one-sided process where one spouse takes everything.
Child custody automatically favors the mother
Another myth people often believe is that mothers automatically get custody of children in a divorce. In reality, courts prioritize the child’s best interests and treat both parents equally. They consider factors like the child’s relationship with each parent, the living situation, and each parent’s ability to provide a stable home. Fathers can receive custody, especially if they show they offer a more stable environment or are more involved in the child’s life.
Divorce is always a lengthy and expensive process
Many assume divorce is always a long, expensive affair. While some divorces take time, especially when disagreements arise, many can finish quickly and affordably, especially when both parties are willing to work together. Mediation or uncontested divorce options can help keep the process short and costs low.
Alimony is guaranteed
Some people believe alimony (spousal support) automatically comes with every divorce. However, alimony doesn’t always get awarded and depends on factors such as the length of the marriage, income differences, and each spouse’s financial needs and capabilities. Many divorces don’t involve alimony at all.
You need to go to court to get a divorce
Although divorce court might seem inevitable, many couples finalize their divorce without ever setting foot in a courtroom. Through mediation, collaborative divorce processes, or even online divorce services, couples can negotiate and settle terms outside of litigation.Understanding these myths and focusing on the facts can make your divorce process less overwhelming. Divorce doesn’t have to be as daunting as these myths suggest. Stay informed and remember that your actions and decisions shape the outcome of your case, not myths.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[What happens to inheritances during property division?]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503652025-09-19T20:51:11Z2025-04-22T16:50:17ZWhen you go through a divorce in California, one of your main concerns will be how your assets divide. Inheritances are unique when it comes to property division. You may wonder whether your inheritance splits with your spouse or stays separate. Understanding how inheritances factor into divorce helps you approach the process with confidence.
Community property vs. separate property
California law presumes that most property acquired during marriage counts as community property, meaning both spouses own it and must divide it. However, there’s an exception: separate property. Property you acquired before marriage or received as a gift or inheritance during marriage remains separate property and doesn’t divide in divorce.
What qualifies as an inheritance?
For property to qualify as an inheritance in California, it must meet specific criteria. If you received the property as a gift from a deceased relative, such as a parent or grandparent, the court will likely classify it as your separate property. The key factor here is whether the inheritance benefits only you and hasn’t mixed with community property. If you used inherited money to buy property that later qualifies as community property, this could complicate matters during property division.
Can your spouse claim part of your inheritance?
In some cases, your spouse might claim part of your inheritance. This usually happens if you commingled the inheritance with community property or used it for joint expenses. For example, if you inherit money and deposit it into a joint bank account, it could lose its separate property status. To avoid this, you must keep inherited property separate and not use it for shared expenses.
How to protect your inheritance during a divorce
To protect your inheritance during divorce, you must keep clear records proving that the property came from a gift or inheritance and stayed separate from marital assets. This may include keeping the inheritance in a separate account or using it only for personal expenses. If you worry about protecting your inheritance, working with a professional can help you keep it separate.Understanding the rules around inheritances and property division in California can save you from unnecessary stress. With the right approach, your inheritance can remain your separate property and stay out of the division process.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[How does domestic violence impact child custody decisions?]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503642025-02-24T22:34:16Z2025-02-24T22:34:16ZCalifornia courts prioritize the well-being of children in custody cases. Judges evaluate several factors, and domestic violence carries significant weight. The law assumes that an abusive parent should not receive custody. Courts consider both physical and emotional harm when making decisions.
Evidence of domestic violence
Courts review police reports, restraining orders, medical records, and witness testimonies to determine custody. A documented history of abuse affects a parent's ability to gain custody. Even without criminal charges, consistent evidence of violence influences the judge's decision.
Legal consequences for abusive parents
A parent with a history of domestic violence often faces restrictions on custody or visitation. California law presumes that an abusive parent should not receive sole or joint custody. To challenge this presumption, the parent must prove that custody serves the child's best interests. They must complete court-ordered programs such as parenting classes, anger management, or counseling.
Supervised visitation and protective measures
When abuse plays a role, courts may require supervised visitation. A neutral third party must attend visits to ensure the child's safety. Supervised visitation allows the parent-child relationship to continue while reducing potential harm. In severe cases, the court denies visitation rights entirely.
Impact on co-parenting and decision-making
Domestic violence affects co-parenting arrangements. Courts may limit the abusive parent's authority over decisions regarding the child's education, healthcare, and welfare. These measures prevent further conflict and protect the child's emotional well-being.
Seeking legal protection
Individuals affected by domestic violence can request restraining orders to protect themselves and their children. A restraining order influences custody rulings by restricting the abusive parent's access. Legal professionals help parents navigate custody disputes and advocate for safe arrangements for the child.California courts take domestic violence allegations seriously in custody cases. The legal system prioritizes the safety and stability of children, ensuring that they live in environments free from abuse. Parents who understand the impact of domestic violence on custody decisions can take steps to protect their children.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[4 ways divorce affects health insurance coverage]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503632024-10-15T13:40:28Z2024-10-15T13:40:28ZDivorce can significantly impact many aspects of life, including health insurance coverage. Spouses must consider their health insurance options during and after divorce.
It is important to understand the ways divorce affects health insurance.
1. Loss of coverage for the non-employee spouse
If one spouse is covered under the other’s employer-sponsored health insurance, the non-employee spouse typically loses that coverage after the divorce is finalized. This means they will need to find new health insurance, either through their own employer, purchasing a plan privately, or using other available options.
2. COBRA continuation coverage
Under federal COBRA law, a non-employee spouse may qualify to continue coverage through the ex-spouse’s employer-sponsored plan for up to 36 months. However, COBRA can be costly, as the non-employee spouse must pay the full premium without employer contributions. This can be a temporary solution while seeking more affordable options.
3. Coverage for children
Divorce does not typically affect health insurance coverage for children. California law requires both parents to ensure that their children have health insurance. If one parent provides coverage through an employer-sponsored plan, the court may require that parent to maintain the coverage. Parents may also share the cost of coverage and any medical expenses not covered by insurance.
4. Alternative options for health coverage
The non-employee spouse may consider other options for health insurance, such as purchasing a plan through the Affordable Care Act (ACA) marketplace. Depending on their income, they may qualify for subsidies to make the coverage more affordable. It is important to compare costs and benefits to find the best option.
Navigating health insurance changes after divorce
Divorce often leads to changes in health insurance coverage, especially for the non-employee spouse. Understanding options can help ensure that all family members have the coverage they need after divorce.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[How to deal with a stonewalling spouse during a divorce]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503612024-07-12T19:50:54Z2024-07-12T19:50:54ZDivorce is challenging enough without added communication barriers. When one spouse refuses to engage or communicate, known as stonewalling, it can escalate the difficulty of the process. If you're dealing with a stonewalling spouse during a divorce in California, there are some strategies to manage the situation effectively.
Stay calm and focused
It’s easy to become frustrated or respond emotionally when faced with stonewalling. However, maintaining your composure is crucial. Focus on staying calm and collected during interactions. This approach can help keep the situation from escalating and might encourage your spouse to eventually lower their defenses and communicate more openly.
Keep communication clear and written
When dealing with a stonewalling spouse, try to communicate in writing. This can be through emails or text messages. Written communication ensures that there is a record of what was said, and it allows you to clearly state your needs and concerns without the emotional weight of a face-to-face confrontation. Additionally, written communication gives your spouse time to process the information and respond at their own pace, which might reduce their need to stonewall.
Set clear boundaries and expectations
Establishing clear boundaries and expectations is important. Let your spouse know what you need from them in terms of communication and cooperation to proceed with the divorce process effectively. Be specific about what is non-negotiable and what you are willing to compromise on. Clear boundaries can help prevent misunderstandings and set a framework for necessary interactions.
Use neutral language
When you do communicate, whether in writing or in person, use neutral language. Avoid blame, accusations, or emotionally charged words. Focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings using "I" statements, such as "I feel" or "I need," instead of "you" statements, which can sound accusatory and might cause your spouse to shut down further.
Consider mediation or a third-party facilitator
If direct communication is proving ineffective, consider using a third-party facilitator or mediator. These professionals can help by providing a neutral ground for discussion and helping both parties express their needs and concerns in a productive manner. They can facilitate the negotiation process and help you and your spouse find common ground.Navigating a divorce with a stonewalling spouse can be stressful and emotionally draining. By implementing these strategies, you can manage the challenges more effectively and move toward a resolution.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[5 Tips for making a strong custody case]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503602024-04-22T23:53:38Z2024-04-22T23:53:38Z1. Gather evidence to support your claims
Collect as much proof as possible to support your custody case. Evidence may include text messages, emails and social media interactions. These communication records can demonstrate your relationship with your child. They can also show your ability to provide a stable environment. Documents related to your child's education, health care and extracurricular activities can showcase your involvement and commitment as a parent.
2. Demonstrate your ability to co-parent
Courts in California value parents' ability to co-parent effectively for the child's benefit. Demonstrate your willingness and ability to communicate and cooperate with the other parent. Present evidence of your efforts to create a positive co-parenting relationship. You can include records of successful co-parenting meetings or agreements reached outside court.
3. Prioritize the best interests of the child
Always focus on your child's best interests above all else. Emphasize how your proposed custody arrangement promotes the child's physical, emotional and psychological well-being. Highlight any factors that support your ability to provide your child with a safe, nurturing and stable environment. Relevant factors can include employment stability, housing situation and support network.
4. Be respectful and professional
Maintain a respectful demeanor throughout the court proceedings. A professional attitude is important in your interactions with the judge and the other party. Avoid disparaging remarks about the other parent. Doing this can undermine your credibility. Instead, present factual evidence and reasoned arguments to support your case.
5. Consider mediation as an alternative
In some cases, mediation may offer a more amicable and cost-effective way to resolve custody disputes. This method allows both parties to work with a neutral third party to reach a mutually acceptable agreement.
By following these tips and diligently preparing your case, you can confidently navigate custody disputes in California.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[4 sources of stress during divorce and how to cope with them]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503592024-02-22T17:20:05Z2024-02-22T17:20:05Z1. Managing financial matters
In California, divorce entails the division of debts and marital assets, such as homes, cars and bank accounts. While the court aims for fairness, it is not always an equal split. Courts consider factors like income, contributions to the marriage and future financial needs.
Divorce can strain finances, particularly regarding money division and support for both you and your children. Crafting a budget and financial plan can help you stay afloat during and after the divorce. Seeking advice from a financial professional can offer valuable assistance.
2. Handling social adjustments
Divorce may strain relationships, leaving you feeling isolated or misunderstood. Staying connected with loved ones and openly discussing your experiences can provide much-needed support and alleviate loneliness. Joining groups or clubs for individuals in similar circumstances can also offer comfort.
3. Adapting to new living arrangements
Post-divorce, whether you relocate or remain in the same home, adjusting to change can be challenging. Moving may entail missing your former neighborhood and friends, while staying put may leave your home feeling empty without your ex-spouse. Regardless, it is a significant adjustment.
If you move, familiarizing yourself with your new neighborhood and engaging in community activities can aid in adaptation. If you stay, consider redecorating or rearranging furniture to create a fresh environment.
4. Coping with emotional turmoil
Divorce triggers a whirlwind of emotions, including sadness, anger and uncertainty about the future. These feelings are normal. Seeking support from friends, family or a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and gain clarity.
Take charge
Understanding the challenges divorce presents allows you to tackle them more effectively and emerge stronger.]]>On Behalf of Butler, Thiessen & Metzinger, Inc.<![CDATA[Will my child’s mother automatically get custody?]]>https://www.btmlaw.com/?p=503582023-10-23T19:19:19Z2023-10-23T19:19:19ZLegal standards for custody
California, like many other states, follows a legal standard that prioritizes the best interests of the child when determining custody arrangements. The courts do not favor one parent over the other based solely on their gender. Instead, they assess various factors to make a fair and informed decision. While 21% of children lived with their mother only in 2020, the number of children living with their father only has quadrupled to 4.5% in the past 50 years.
The best interests of the child
To decide what is in the best interests of the child, courts consider factors such as the child's age, health, and emotional ties to both parents. They also examine each parent's ability to provide a stable home, support the child's needs and encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent.
Parenting plans
The courts encourage parents to work together to create a parenting plan that outlines custody and visitation schedules. This collaborative approach allows parents to have more control over the outcome and find solutions that fit their unique circumstances. In cases where parents cannot agree on a parenting plan, mediation may be necessary. A neutral third party can assist in reaching a mutually acceptable agreement. If mediation is unsuccessful, the court will step in to make the final decision.
By working together and considering the child's best interests, parents can navigate the challenging terrain of divorce and custody arrangements.]]>